Charlotte’s sister died of breast cancer a year ago this coming August. She was at her sister’s bedside holding her hand when she died.

Tim’s mother caught him masturbating when he was twelve.  She told him never to do it again and to go to confession and to ask forgiveness from the priest, who represents God, or Tim’s penis would fall off, and then, when he died, he would go to hell.

Charlotte believes that “everything happens for a reason”. Tim is an Atheist who believes his mother’s religion is nonsense.

Though she has truly struggled mightily, Charlotte can find no reason for breast cancer.

Tim’s mother died after a long bout with Alzheimer’s and at her wake he could hear his own voice in his head, furiously shouting at her carefully arranged corpse, “If what you believed is true, you’re in hell you bitch!”

Charlotte began taking a popular anti-depressant about six months ago, after she saw a commercial for it on TV where a woman wearing an absolutely lovely corsage danced happily at her daughter’s wedding, and then asked her doctor to prescribe it for her.

On the way home from the funeral, Tim punched, in the face, a man who rear-ended him while he was waiting at a stoplight.

Charlotte’s husband complains often that the anti-depressant Charlotte takes is killing her interest in sex.

The man Tim punched is suing him for battery.

Charlotte’s doctor recently increased her dosage because she’s getting more and more depressed by suspicions that her husband is cheating on her.

Tim freaked out at work yesterday and hit himself over the head repeatedly with a heavy glass paperweight he received 7 years ago as “employee of the month”. Charlotte took every pill in her anti-depressant pill bottle one night last week after her husband came home at 3 am drunk and smelling of another woman.

Tim was rushed to the hospital with a concussion. Charlotte was hospitalized and is currently on “suicide watch” which, in part, means that her arms are strapped to the bed.

Two weeks after Tim was released from the hospital, his wife left him, and took Frenchie, his old English sheepdog, with her. Tim loved that dog.

Charlotte is haunted by waking dreams of her sister on her deathbed.  Her sleep is also haunted by dreams of her sister, mostly as a child, forcibly cutting her hair, and stealing her underwear.

Tim’s ex-wife is also named Charlotte.

These dreams are particularly disturbing because Charlotte wants to remember only kind things about her sister, not bad things.

Tim feels lingering guilt whenever he masturbates, even though he is now forty-seven years old.  He pretends to himself that the guilt is a result of what he thought about his mother in her coffin, but the guilt is really about his inability to have ever given Charlotte an orgasm in their 13 years of marriage.

Charlotte is dreaming right now. She is looking into a mirror, but instead of seeing herself, she is seeing an old sheepdog with a bad haircut.

Tim is dreaming too. His ex-wife is standing over him as if longing for him to give her oral sex, but Tim’s mouth is taped shut and his hands are strapped to the bed.

Charlotte is half-asleep, and playing with herself. It feels good. Surprisingly good. She is dreaming that an old sheepdog is lapping at her labia. She didn’t think she liked dogs, but she does, she does.

*     *     *     *     *

If you could play any character in the story, were it to be made into a major motion picture directed by Gus Van Sant, which character would you choose, and why?

Charlotte 1? Tim? Charlotte 2? Tim’s mother? The man who rear-ended Tim? Charlotte’s sister? Charlotte’s doctor? The woman in the anti-anxiety commercial who dances at her daughter’s wedding in a beautiful corsage? Charlotte’s husband? Charlotte’s husband’s mistress? The paramedics who rushed Tim and/or Charlotte to Emergency? The sheepdog?

Which character do you feel the most empathy for? Which character do you feel the most contempt for? Can you identify why?

Is it helpful to have less, or more information when judging these characters? Does detail tend to make you more or less sympathetic? Does any part of the story Anger you? Please you? Arouse you?

Can you identify only with the characters of your own gender, or do you see yourself as having an equal shot at any of the roles?

Are you wondering or worrying about my mental health? Or are you quite sure this is just a silly romp through familiar acting class imaginative improvisational territory designed for my own self-amusement?

After hearing the story of Charlotte and Tim, do you feel more or less satisfied with your own life?